Dealing with being pregnant and wanting to be in shape

So much for my 12 week transformation into super sexy, ripped, fitness model.  I would have done it too if I didn't go and get pregnant! LOL.  Now my 12 weeks of thinning and ripping out have turned into abs that have disappeared into the abyss of my pregnant belly, boobs that are protruding so far out that I can't see my growing bump and a warped sense of who I really am.  Every day I "deal" with looking unhappily at myself in the mirror.  3 months, thats I'll I needed to be my idea of perfection, now I need to start all over again with 2 kids running around my legs as I squat jump my ass back up to where it was.
Please don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful and blessed that we have been given an unstressful attempt at pregnancy (it took us a year, lots of tears and stress with Liliana) but as my pregnancies would have it, I need to take it easy before this little bean decides to show its head early like my first born.  But I need to be honest with you guys, this is really really hard.
Running and working out was my ONLY form of stress relief.  I'd put on my ipod with some kick ass tunes and run away from the dirty dishes, piling laundry and crying baby for 30 minutes.  Thats all I needed to regenerate and come back with a clear head and a nice sweaty back.  I can't do that now and I really feel shitty.  Yoga doesn't do it for me, I'll barf if I meditate, I am not a slow, calm, listen to the ocean type of person.  The way I calm down is blasting music and sweating my ass off.
So not only can I not release stress the way I need to, I am also struggling with my body image.  I know that sounds bananas because I personally think pregnant women are gorgeous, but it has taken me years of disastrous eating habits, gym habits and self destructive patterns to really learn to love myself.  And that was starting to happen this year!  Now every little bump, lump and cellulite blob that are appearing on my almost perfect body (again, almost perfect for me) is making me mental.  I am going to have to work twice as hard with twice as many kids with twice as little time in the day to do it.  This mom gig is hard!
I know so many moms who do it, and I am so proud of you.  Especially the moms at my bootcamp classes.  They come out and they bust ass and it shows.  They work so hard, even when they are pooped and I am beyond proud of them.  I know that when this baby comes the balancing act of 2 kids, a husband, a house, my bootcamp class and myself might crumble, but it should all come back together, right?
I eat healthy, I know what I need to do to get back into shape, and hopefully I can get my ass in gear right away and be one of those statistics "mom loses 40lbs in 2 months eating right and taking time for herself!"

Ah well, sorry for the rant, but I feel better.  Maybe this will be my new stress reliever.  Writing about how I am stressed.  Does that even make any sense?

Oh lordy.