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I have decided to compile a list of all of the questions and problems you are having and reach out to my resources to help you figure out how to solve them.  Without my support team there is no way that I could have become (and still in the process of becoming) the happy person I am today.  There have been a lot of dark days where I felt like sh*t and was having a hard time pulling myself out of the hole, but I created the hole and I can change it.  I want to be your support team.  

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One step at a time 

Perception is WAY off.

I have kept a journal since I was old enough to write.  I have notebook after notebook of my thoughts, my crushes and my feelings about life.  More importantly I have kept a separate green notebook of my weight, measurements and feelings on that day - this one I have kept for 7 years.  I have monthly obsessive measurements of each of the important parts of my body (chest, waist, hips, bum and legs) and weight along with whether I felt skinny, bloated, had my period or was late (eekk!!).  Like a robot I weighed in each month, and wrote it down.  Sometimes I felt great, looking back I lost half an inch from last month!  or I would feel like crap when I gained a few pounds.  Regardless, I wasn't happy with myself for more than a few days a month.  It was there, in black and white, my fears (weight gain) and triumphs (yay, I had the flu for a week and lost 5lbs!).
Getting married, leaving a job, living like a gypsy, trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant, having a baby early, spending 4 months in a hospital and then finally trying to make our new family and new house a home - meant a weight gain of over 50lbs.  I am, from deep deep down in my soul, an emotional eater.  I eat my feelings, and lord knows I had A LOT of feelings over the past 3 years.
Through all of that, I still wrote in my little green notebook.  And I was sad.  Looking back at the years  when I was 134lbs and unhappy was heartbreaking.  Thanks to Facebook - I can go back to virtually the same days I wrote my weight and look at pictures of myself and see how dam good I look!  Its amazing that when your in it, you think the worst - Im so fat, im so unhealthy, im ugly and then when you have the chance to look back on it, you think wow - THATS my goal.  Pictures of myself are posted on my wall as inspiration to get back to.  How insane is that?!?!?!  One minute 134lbs makes me so sad and fat, and 5 years later its my goal!

Bananas.

So, whats my point.  My point is that you should be happy with what you are now.  If its not what you want, work on it everyday (im not talking obsessively) until it is what you are happy with.  We should feel comfortable and happy with ourselves everyday.  As I am sure most of you have already seen the Dove commercial where someone sketches women based on their descriptions of themselves and then another portrait based on descriptions of others views of them.  and what do you get??  2 completely different portraits - a happy one (what others saw) and an unhappy one (what the person saw).  how sad is that.  The world is looking and you and thinks your gorgeous.  You look at yourself and think the world sees you as ugly, frumpy and old.
I am working on feeling confident in myself every day.  I don't have 100% confidence yet, but I am actively working on getting it everyday.  My goal is to exude confidence and be happy with myself at whatever weight is the healthiest for me.  I want to feel good in my clothes - not worry about what size they are.  I want my daughter to look up to me as a role model.  I don't want her to be picked on for not looking a certain way, not being skinny enough, not being tall enough, not being pretty enough.  I am taking the steps to make myself feel good.  I think you should too.  I think you stand in front of a full length mirror in your funderware (aka fun underware ;) ) and pick out all the things you "think" are wrong or need work.  Do it, just once.  Write it down and then make the decision to work on making yourself happy with them rather than dwelling on them.  You can't complain if you don't do anything about it.  For every negative comment you give yourself, find a way to make it positive.  My hips have widened since I had shorty and the shape of my body isn't the hourglass it was.  I don't like it, but you know what?  I can hold Liliana up on my hips for way longer than some skinny moms can, and for that I am happy with the size of my hips.  My hips hold up my daughter long enough for me to dance with her in the kitchen.

This was a little bit of emotional writing for me to keep my fingers busy rather than reaching for the Tositios.  Its been one of those weeks where Im just feeling like ass on a stick - but I know tomorrow will be better.  As my husband always says - failure is not an option - and I can't fail.  I won't fail.  I worked hard today, but I'll work harder tomorrow.

:)

WOW video from Sara Solomon!!!

AAAHHHH!!!!!!

I am so honored, blessed and fricken estatic to have Dr. Sara Solomon feature ME in her WOW video of the week.  I can't even believe it!
If you haven't read the info, click here
If you want to watch the video, looky here!

I have always wanted to be a fitness professional - for as long as I can remember.  I took courses (I am a certified Personal Trainer through CanFit Pro, and a certified Pre and Post natal trainer as well) but never stuck to my own training regimen.  I would make plans for my brother and sister.  Nutrition plans for my parents and friends, but never fully practiced what I preached until now.  I would get trainers at the gym, pay them big bucks, only for them to tell me what I already knew.  Sometimes I even corrected them!!!  what a waste. I am finally listening to my own advice (and of course, Saras!) and have done my research on the best training and nutrition for me.  Thats the key difference now.  I am not doing a "fad" diet (Ive done them all and they aren't sustainable).  I'm not doing a crazy workout that can't be maintained for life.  I am doing what works with my extremely busy and limited lifestyle.  I have a 1 year old who needs extra attention and help who only naps once a day if im lucky, and don't have access to a gym or a car most of the time.  I do my workouts at home in my foyer or basement and use what time and equipment I have.
I have been doing Saras workouts that you can find here:

they are quick, intense and fun.  Something that I need and can do on a daily basis.  I am also training for my first 5k run in September!  I have a bet going with my brother in law and cousin that I can kick their asses!  My cousin Rob did the 5k last year and his time was 24 minutes.  I am going to whoop his a$$ this year!!!

If you are just starting on your weightloss journey, you have come to the right blog!  I am in the middle of mine and would be happy to share all my information on how I got here and where I am going, with you.  The torch has been passed to me so send me some questions in the comment section below or on Facebook and I would love to help you come up with a plan that works for you and your lifestyle!!!!!

AAHHHH im still so excited :D

Almost Done the Plan!

This Plan has got me all wigged out.  I love it, don't get me wrong, but its been a tough, lonely road filled with Kale, Spinach and Flax, flax and more flax.  I am getting tired of this non italian way of eating, and no where in her 20 days does she introduce Lasagna.  Technically I have passed the 20 days, but I have been reactive to cheese (gain of 1.5lbs) and bread (gain of 2 fricken lbs!) so that set me back a couple days.  Once you show that you are reactive to something, you need to take a rest day to loose the weight and then you can start testing again.  It took about 4 days for the bread to go away and about 3 for the cheese.  It was really hard and discouraging really, to see the numbers on the scale go up.  I don't know why because I knew I had these allergies, and she flat out says dont get discouraged when your weight goes up because it will come back down.  Whatever.  I was happy the numbers were going down and didn't want to deal with the shitty higher numbers. 
It made me realize a lot though.  I am most definetly an emotional eater.  150%.  In my warpped brain it made sense to me that I gained 2lbs therefore I should eat a pack of cookies because I was upset.  I didn't eat them, but just the thought of the thought of eating it made me so angry.  I am stronger than that!  (I keep telling myself that in the hopes that I will actually believe it one day)  I decided to go for a walk.  A 3 hour walk.  I just packed up shorty in the stroller and went.  I came back and was in a better mindset to eat my dinner of sauteed kale, the smallest piece of chicken and some salad. 
I haven't read further than the days that I currently am on, but I think I am going to read ahead and see how to test foods myself. I have to be honest and say I am a little worried that my weight is going to go back up.  I am working out again but not as intensly, so once the 20 days are officially over, I'll get back into my Tabata, Combat and Insanity.  But in the mean time me and shortstuff are just walking and jogging outside.  It is so refreshing, it really can do wonders to your mood, especially during "Dragon Week".  You know, that week where anything and everything someone says to you either makes you cry or scream?  Ya, it wasn't that bad this month!!!! :)

So my homework for you.....
Get outside and breathe some fresh air.  Take big long deeeeeeep breaths and enjoy the cool air in your lungs.  breathe out and let all the shitty thoughts, weight gain, bad days and chocolate cake breath out with it.

<3

How to Sautee Vegetables The Plan Style

The cleanse - your questions answered!

I took a diary of how I felt, what I ate and what it made me want to do during the 3 day cleanse.  Here are my notes....

Day before Day 1
- I am super excited to start something that finally makes total sense to me.  No counting anything.  No adding points.  Just blindly listen to someone else who has successfully made other people feel good.  Its like a psychologist for your stomach.  I bought everything I need for the next 3 days, looks a little daunting as none of this food I have ever cooked like this before.  The coconut milk is probably the scariest to me as I completely despise ANYTHING that tastes like coconut shavings.  barf.

Day 1
Wake up excited
Weigh myself
Not so excited anymore
Drink 16 oz of lemon water
Drink Dandelion Tea
Eat 1 cup of homemade granola (which really isn't granola as there is no oats in it)  It is just Flaxseeds baked with raisins and 1/2 cup of blueberries.  I am too scared to add the coconut milk, so I eat it dry - meh, not bad
this is my routine for the next 10 days.  Exact same, every morning.

Lunch
Carrot Ginger Soup with sunflower seeds
Steamed Broccoli with some lemon juice
Salad with 1/2 pear (what a tease) and some pumpkin seeds
On the salad,Oil, garlic, pepper and you can't put vinegar so I substituted with lemon juice.
Not bad, but for me thats a lot of food to eat...

Snack
an apple

Dinner
im effing starving
Sauteed Kale with Mushrooms (mushrooms should be banished from this earth because they are so gross, so I didnt add them)
with Spicy Coco sauce (this was delicious!!  coconut milk with ginger, cumin, pepper, cinnamon, onion and reduced for 20 min... YUM!!!!!)
Beet and Carrot Salad - barf.

I drank 2.2 liters of water - which wasn't that hard for me as I was drink 3 liters before.  I have to stop drinking at 7:30 which is going to be a bitch.

9pm, im tired, irritable, cranky and want chocolate and a coffee - did I mention I went off coffee?!.  This better be worth it tomorrow. (video of my day 1 in previous post below)

Day 2

Wake up exhausted, Frankie needs to push me out of bed
Weigh myself
YAY 2 LBS LOST!!!!
skip downstairs :D
Drink 16 oz of lemon water
Drink Dandelion Tea
Eat 1 cup of homemade "granola" Flaxseeds baked with raisins and 1/2 cup of blueberries.  I am STILL too scared to add the coconut milk, so I eat it dry

Lunch
Carrot Ginger Soup
Salad with 1/2 apple and 1/4 avocado
Leftover broccoli with lemon

STARVING

Snack
1/2 pear (ugh whats the point)
almonds (this is the first test)

*I feel like the worst PMS mixed with the Flu - I have neither at this moment.

Dinner
Sauteed Kale from yesterday
1 cup of brown rice (yay!)
Pumpkin Seeds
Beet and Carrot Salad (barf)

Drank all my water, found it super hard to do it today, I still have a massive headache from the detoxifying and lack of caffeine.

Day 3

Wake up feeling better
Weigh myself
what what another 1.5lb down!
Drink 16 oz of lemon water
Drink Dandelion Tea
Eat 1 cup of homemade "granola" Flaxseeds baked with raisins and 1/2 cup of blueberries.  I am ok with Almonds (meaning I didn't gain any weight today from eating them yesterday) so I add unsweetened original almond milk - aahh so much better!!

Lunch
Baby Romaine Lettuce with 1/4 avocado, pumpkin seeds and carrots
Spicy Vegetarian Soup (yum!)

Snack
10-12 almonds

Dinner
2-3 oz of chicken!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!
Salad
1 cup of Roasted Italian Winter Veggies - omg, I didn't want to stop at 1 cup - so good!!
This was the best dinner so far.

Drank all my water, no worries.  Headache gonzo!

So thats the cleanse ladies and gentlemen.  Not too hard, but just different than what I am used to.  I think I would have punched someone in the face for a coffee, which scared me to feel so dependent on something.  I drank coffee again on the 4th day, which is when you introduce coffee, goat cheese, chocolate and RED WINE!  yes, all 4 in one day.  I told you the cleanse was worth it!!!!
I was so excited, giddy even, to make the espresso in the morning.  Everything down to the crema on top was perfection.  I took my first sip and nearly barfed.  I was so sad.  I got an instant headache and couldn't finish the cup.  Thats a sign that it is a trigger food for me - but I can't do it.  I don't care if I had to give it up to loose 10lbs, it ain't gonna happen.
The other thing that I am sure most people would be happy with is no exercise!  You need to reserve all of your bodys energy for repair.  Yay for you!

If you can dig deep enough and make this change for just the 3 initial days, the rest will be a breeze.  It feels so good to loose weight and feel good inside.  I think in the past 3 days my mom, dad, brother, his gf, and my best friend (almost... common jos!!) have started the diet.  They all feel like shit.  But today, my parents lost 2lbs each and that makes it worth it.  The ebook link is below if your ready to start!  If you do, comment or msg me on facebook so we can follow along together!
I am also making a list of questions I have along the way in the hopes of emailing the author to ask her, like... when I REALLY need a snack, what can I have?!  Is there a certain time of day that is best to have a bad food? on and on... so msg me your questions too.

7 lbs lost and I never want to find them again

I am on day 6 of The Plan and it is unbelievable to feel the transformation of my insides.  I am not going to lie, the first 3 days were hell inside of hell.  I never had the food that I was eating, the tastes were beyond foreign to me and a little scary.  I couldn't snack, making me want to snack even more.  And lets just say, it was the wrong time of the month for me to start a crazy diet.  Nonetheless, I made it through the 3 days and successfully lost 4 lbs.  That made it all worth it.  Seeing the numbers FINALLY budge after hard work made me feel so fulfilled and worth the exhaustion, aches, pains, migraines, irritability and bitchiness (sorry family).
I am now happily on day 6 and feel so full of energy and excitement.  Something that I haven't felt from the inside in a very very long time.  I say inside because to me, thats the most important.  I have the energy to workout, I have the energy to clean the house, I have the energy to run after my daughter and at 9pm I still have the energy to write this blog.  I am sleeping better, I am not feeling bloated and I've only worked out once.
My parents started it today and my mom is finding it really hard - same reasons as me, but add in the fact that she drinks maybe a sip of water a day.  On this diet, and generally for good health, you should be drinking half your body weight in oz a day.  I am at a little more than 2 litres a day, and for me, thats no biggie.  For my mom, she would rather eat dirt than drink a glass of water, let alone 2 litres.  My dad is making it happen, in his usual style.  Its a scientific way of looking at your body and at food, and for my dad that is right up his alley.
Day after day, I am so interested in this diet because it is teaching me about myself.  Teaching me to expand my food repertoire as well as why the heck I have been eating "healthy" foods and gaining weight and feeling like crap.  I am excited to continue and see what the rest of the tests have in store for me.