I have decided to compile a list of all of the questions and problems you are having and reach out to my resources to help you figure out how to solve them. Without my support team there is no way that I could have become (and still in the process of becoming) the happy person I am today. There have been a lot of dark days where I felt like sh*t and was having a hard time pulling myself out of the hole, but I created the hole and I can change it. I want to be your support team.
I have kept a journal since I was old enough to write. I have notebook after notebook of my thoughts, my crushes and my feelings about life. More importantly I have kept a separate green notebook of my weight, measurements and feelings on that day - this one I have kept for 7 years. I have monthly obsessive measurements of each of the important parts of my body (chest, waist, hips, bum and legs) and weight along with whether I felt skinny, bloated, had my period or was late (eekk!!). Like a robot I weighed in each month, and wrote it down. Sometimes I felt great, looking back I lost half an inch from last month! or I would feel like crap when I gained a few pounds. Regardless, I wasn't happy with myself for more than a few days a month. It was there, in black and white, my fears (weight gain) and triumphs (yay, I had the flu for a week and lost 5lbs!).
Getting married, leaving a job, living like a gypsy, trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant, having a baby early, spending 4 months in a hospital and then finally trying to make our new family and new house a home - meant a weight gain of over 50lbs. I am, from deep deep down in my soul, an emotional eater. I eat my feelings, and lord knows I had A LOT of feelings over the past 3 years.
Through all of that, I still wrote in my little green notebook. And I was sad. Looking back at the years when I was 134lbs and unhappy was heartbreaking. Thanks to Facebook - I can go back to virtually the same days I wrote my weight and look at pictures of myself and see how dam good I look! Its amazing that when your in it, you think the worst - Im so fat, im so unhealthy, im ugly and then when you have the chance to look back on it, you think wow - THATS my goal. Pictures of myself are posted on my wall as inspiration to get back to. How insane is that?!?!?! One minute 134lbs makes me so sad and fat, and 5 years later its my goal!
Bananas.
So, whats my point. My point is that you should be happy with what you are now. If its not what you want, work on it everyday (im not talking obsessively) until it is what you are happy with. We should feel comfortable and happy with ourselves everyday. As I am sure most of you have already seen the Dove commercial where someone sketches women based on their descriptions of themselves and then another portrait based on descriptions of others views of them. and what do you get?? 2 completely different portraits - a happy one (what others saw) and an unhappy one (what the person saw). how sad is that. The world is looking and you and thinks your gorgeous. You look at yourself and think the world sees you as ugly, frumpy and old.
I am working on feeling confident in myself every day. I don't have 100% confidence yet, but I am actively working on getting it everyday. My goal is to exude confidence and be happy with myself at whatever weight is the healthiest for me. I want to feel good in my clothes - not worry about what size they are. I want my daughter to look up to me as a role model. I don't want her to be picked on for not looking a certain way, not being skinny enough, not being tall enough, not being pretty enough. I am taking the steps to make myself feel good. I think you should too. I think you stand in front of a full length mirror in your funderware (aka fun underware ;) ) and pick out all the things you "think" are wrong or need work. Do it, just once. Write it down and then make the decision to work on making yourself happy with them rather than dwelling on them. You can't complain if you don't do anything about it. For every negative comment you give yourself, find a way to make it positive. My hips have widened since I had shorty and the shape of my body isn't the hourglass it was. I don't like it, but you know what? I can hold Liliana up on my hips for way longer than some skinny moms can, and for that I am happy with the size of my hips. My hips hold up my daughter long enough for me to dance with her in the kitchen.
This was a little bit of emotional writing for me to keep my fingers busy rather than reaching for the Tositios. Its been one of those weeks where Im just feeling like ass on a stick - but I know tomorrow will be better. As my husband always says - failure is not an option - and I can't fail. I won't fail. I worked hard today, but I'll work harder tomorrow.
I am so honored, blessed and fricken estatic to have Dr. Sara Solomon feature ME in her WOW video of the week. I can't even believe it!
If you haven't read the info, click here
If you want to watch the video, looky here!
I have always wanted to be a fitness professional - for as long as I can remember. I took courses (I am a certified Personal Trainer through CanFit Pro, and a certified Pre and Post natal trainer as well) but never stuck to my own training regimen. I would make plans for my brother and sister. Nutrition plans for my parents and friends, but never fully practiced what I preached until now. I would get trainers at the gym, pay them big bucks, only for them to tell me what I already knew. Sometimes I even corrected them!!! what a waste. I am finally listening to my own advice (and of course, Saras!) and have done my research on the best training and nutrition for me. Thats the key difference now. I am not doing a "fad" diet (Ive done them all and they aren't sustainable). I'm not doing a crazy workout that can't be maintained for life. I am doing what works with my extremely busy and limited lifestyle. I have a 1 year old who needs extra attention and help who only naps once a day if im lucky, and don't have access to a gym or a car most of the time. I do my workouts at home in my foyer or basement and use what time and equipment I have.
I have been doing Saras workouts that you can find here:
they are quick, intense and fun. Something that I need and can do on a daily basis. I am also training for my first 5k run in September! I have a bet going with my brother in law and cousin that I can kick their asses! My cousin Rob did the 5k last year and his time was 24 minutes. I am going to whoop his a$$ this year!!!
If you are just starting on your weightloss journey, you have come to the right blog! I am in the middle of mine and would be happy to share all my information on how I got here and where I am going, with you. The torch has been passed to me so send me some questions in the comment section below or on Facebook and I would love to help you come up with a plan that works for you and your lifestyle!!!!!
