The "lifestyle change" aka -I'm trying to make diet sound cool

Diets, ugh, what an ugly word.  If I actually put down on paper the different diets my mom and my mother in law have been on since I have been alive, there wouldn't be enough paper or ink.  I just thought it was a way of life, growing up with my mom always looking at herself like she wasn't happy.  Always ahead of the game getting the inside scoop of the latest diet fad - Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Dr. Poon, Dr. Bernstein  Weight Watchers again, and the variety of nonsense from Dr. Oz.  She tried them all.  They always "failed" her because she never kept it going long enough, she never made a serious commitment for her health - it was always for a quick 10lb weight loss that seldom happened because she didn't stick to it long enough.  I feel like this is typical for a lot of women in my circles.  Always on a diet, always wanting to get back to pre pregnancy, pre married, pre whatever state they were in when they felt the best.  Unless a life change is made, they will never get there.  Ok, maybe with a lot of work they might get there, but they won't stay there for long.  

Food has so many attachments to emotions.  When im sad, I need to eat something, when im happy I need to celebrate with something, When I am bored... oh my lanta, thats the worst.  I haven't found the trick yet, but I feel like I am close.  I am trying to train my brain to look at food as fuel, as numbers, as a science and not as comfort and tasty.  That is the hardest thing for me, especially being Italian and being married to an Italian.  Food is the center of our universe.  That is the reason we go to my mother in laws for dinner, or my moms for Sunday Lunch.  We go to sit around a 10 foot table so full of food it could feed another 25 people, and talk, debate, laugh, cry, yell, discuss our day, our children, our goals.  So many conversations over the dinner table have created bonds between me and my family that wouldn't have existed if there wasn't a fresh baked loaf of bread to split.

I have to push the plate away.  I have to bring it to the sink and wash it out.  I can't sit there with an empty plate and a table full of food.  The fourth serving of pasta is calling my name.  

I have been inputting every single thing I eat into this app on my phone called Calorie Counter - its online as well.  There are a ton... loseit is another great one.  You type in what you are eating and the portion size. It has a huge database of foods and brand names and it automatically puts together a daily total of calories, fats, sodium, carbs, protein, fibre, you name it!  It is a great way to see how much of what you are eating.  For me it was eye opening because I always thought I ate healthy - and I do - but what it showed me was that I was nowhere near the amount of protein and fats for my body and I was WAY over my carbs - but interesting enough, my calories were always low.  This should mean I am thin, but what I have learned is that it is the right combination of fats, carbs, and protein to equal the right amount of calories that will allow me to lose the weight.  This online calculator can figure out what works best for you... IF Calculator

So I have committed to 30 days of this and to be honest, am already finding it tiresome to input everything, but I am doing it.  I have faith that this will work, and if not - then at least I have learned a sh#tload about myself and my bodys needs vs wants.